2010: WHAT I MISSED AND WHAT THE F...?!

As with any year, there are certain films I've missed at the cinema. Whether it's because they were only out for two weeks, I never got around to seeing them or they just plain never came out, what follows is a run-down of some films I totally and utterly missed. And then there are some films I saw that were utter mindfucks. 

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...?

Being in New Zealand means we can miss out on a bunch of movies sadly. What with us being way down in the nether regions of the world the actual cost of freighting an actual, physical film print must be, well, pretty astronomical (as a side note, I wonder how the digital distribution of films will affect the release slate here?). So, distributors must surely have some sort of arcane formulae for calculating whether they'd make a profit or not, right? They couldn't just randomly decide what films would be release and what wouldn't, could they? 

Waking Sleeping Beauty

This is a film I've read a little bit about from a variety of American movie websites: it's a documentary on the Mouse House and the animators who used to work in the Magic Kingdom of Walt Disney. It's a film I'm hoping to see next year: whether at the World Cinema Showcase or the Film Festival I would be gobsmacked if this doesn't play somewhere in NZ next year.

Valhalla Rising

By the beard of Odin! This is a film I've been looking forward to for at least a year. It's directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (the Pusher trilogy, Bronson), has Mads Mikklesen (Casino Royale) as a one-eyed viking warrior and, oh yeah, it's about frakking vikings! It even made Empire magazines end of year Top 20. I felt for sure this would've been at the Film Festival or at least as a limited release at the Paramount. No such luck. Perhaps it'll be at the 2011 World Cinema Showcase.

Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee

Yet another Festival favourite director not making the cut this year. This time it's Shane Meadows and his mate Paddy Considine with a musical mockumentary thing. I don't even know if this has a DVD release here.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

This is one that truly baffles me. Nicolas Cage going batshit. Festival favourite director Werner Herzog. Outstanding reviews (if not outstanding box office). In fact, the Film Festival wanted to show this. But the distributors, in their infinite wisdom, saw fit to send it straight to DVD. 

This annoys me.

Mesrine

This well reviewed French crime thriller starring Vincent Cassel was split into two parts. It actually played at the French Film Festival: but with only one showing and in the middle of the day during the week it was a bit hard to get to. Baffling programming.

WHAT I MISSED

And then these are the films that were release, that I wanted to see and then... didn't. Machete and Centurion were out all of two weeks before disappearing from cinema screens. The others here... well, I just didn't quite make it to the cinema. It happens. This list DOESN'T include films that came out in 2010 that there was no frakking way in seven hells I was going to see. Like Marmaduke.

Machete

Centurion

The Ghost Writer

Daybreakers

The Expendables

Fish Tank

Nowhere Boy

Predators

Runaways

WHAT THE F...?!

2010 seems to have been the biggest year for mindbending going on at the cinema. Even one of the biggest hits of the year had people scratching their heads and engaging in long conversations about what it all meant. And then there was Inception.

Antichrist

I'm still undecided about this film. You cannot deny it's powerful and that it provokes debate though. Is it misogynistic? Shocking for shocking's sake? An art-house horror? And what the fuck was with the talking fox? I certainly won't be watching it again, but there is a little part of me that is glad this film is out there. It's many things at once and I think von Trier disappeared up his own arse, but the fact that there is this... thing, this direct contrast to the mind-numbing blockbusters. Well, that is a good thing.

Enter the Void

And talking about disappearing up one's own arsehole... well, what can one say about this loose adaptation of the Tibetan Book of the Dead? What I can say is, without a shadow of a doubt, there was not another film like Gaspar Noe's Enter the Void this year. It's a marathon watch: epileptic fit-inducing credits, beautiful imagery, repugnant characters played by terrible actors, wandering non-plot...It really is endurance cinema as it meanders for over 2 and a half hours! But you cannot vault the bravery and vision on display. Again, it's not one I'll watch again and it certainly won't make my end of year list... but it's a film I'm glad is out there; that there is still room in this world for something so... unique.

Amer

Ahem. I saw this on the last day of Film Festival, exhausted and more than a little hungover. I'm sure I nodded off a couple of times. That may actually have worked for the film, with it worming it's way into my subconscious. There wasn't much plot to be had and the whole thing was incredibly oblique. But it had an obvious love for the old Italian genre/giallo films that soaked through the screen.

2010: THE YEAR IN REVIEW

2010 has been an interesting year for me with the movies. A lot of that is due to this blog I’ve been keeping since midway through. I’ve noticed a distinct change from my first write-ups that I started as just something for me, and my more recent writings that tend to go on a bit longer. I hope this means my writing has improved and that I am thinking and engaging with these films more and not just becoming a pompous windbag. Although if this means I get to wear a crushed velvet smoking jacket, then I shan't worry overly much.

I think I’ll break up this end of year review over the next few days, finishing up with my final pick of films for 2010. In fact, probably not until early in the new year will I reveal my picks - there are still films to see in 2010! For now, I'll start with a more general wrap up of the year. Don't forget to email your lists in too! Be it movies, music or... well, anything really.

The General Wrap-up

2010 got off to quite a slow start. It wasn’t until the end of February and Scorsese’s Shutter Island that I was really well and truly impressed by something at the cinema. And it wasn’t until the end of March (a full quarter of the yea!) that we got a film that has made it on to my 2010 Favourites. The “summer” blockbuster season was, quite frankly, utter shit. This may have been due to some sort of ripple effect of the Writer's Strike of 08, but to me it smacks more of an off year. I’m one of the few who enjoyed Iron Man 2 but even I’ll admit that it was underwhelming. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time was absolute goat-balls and none of the other big studio releases really inspired - I just plain stayed away (no Expendables or Salt for me); until Inception and Toy Story 3 anyway.

It has been one of the strongest years for animation though – How to Train Your Dragon, Toy Story 3, The Illusionist, A Town Called Panic etc. These have been heartfelt, moving, hilarious and, well, a damned sight better than a lot of the live-action releases. Anyone who says animated movies are just for kids... well, we need to have words. Which makes it all the more baffling they couldn’t get enough nominees (short by one film! One!) to widen the Oscar field.

This year’s annual Film Festival was the biggest for me, in terms of films seen. In two and a half weeks I saw 47 films (only three shy of my initial target!) and successfully blogged about them (check 'em out on the right!). It was… exhausting. But exhilarating at the same time. 47 was a lot of films, with a fair share of duds and unwatchables but then there were also the blasts of cinematic awesomeness that make it all worth it.

I’ve been ushering/cashiering the Festival since 2002 and this was one of the smoothest Festivals I’ve been involved in. Yes, there was a missing row of seats at the Paramount (quickly replaced), and there was a ticketing balls-up that meant some of the earliest ticket buyers got some of the worst seats but these sorts of issues were handled. There was no fire alarm between two full houses. No film sliding off the platter mid-show. No flairs on the stairs.

No, the biggest problem at Film Festival 2010 was… the audiences. I don’t know if it was because I was an usher this year (and thus more exposed to the seething mass of idiots that make up the mass of consumers) or if it was the continuing spiral downwards but the audiences this year were some of the worst I’ve ever encountered. Which is not to say that the vast majority of people were puppy-murdering jackanapes, but at every single screening there were late-comers (as in, 20 minutes) and texters. The bane of my cinematic existence; texters. You would think (or I would hope) that the audience at a film festival would have less idiots on their cellphones. Not so much.

Outside of the Film Fest and in direct contrast to previous years, there was a paucity of superhero/comic-book films at the multiplexes. The aforementioned Iron Man 2 was the biggest tentpole release, with Kick Ass and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World being somewhat smaller in scale (and, sadly, box office). Don't take this for the beginning of a trend though.

My big thanks for the year are saved for the Embassy Theatre/Event Cinemas. Throughout the year the Embassy has had Friday night screenings of some beloved classics (mainly from the 80's). And after Event took over the cinema arm of Sky City Entertainment they treated us to Sunday matinee shows of bonafide classics. So, thanks to these guys I've seen not only Ghostbusters and The Goonies in a cinema but also Touch of Evil and Badlands. That is my definition of awesome and I hope they keep it up (and moreso) next year.

19.12: THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

Poster by the Master (aka Drew Struzan)

Oh boy. This was my first film in two weeks. That's ages man. Ages. Some people need to watch sports or soap operas or take crack cocaine; I'm hooked on celluloid. And what a lovely pre-Christmas treat to see a Muppet movie at the cinema! The only other Muppet movie I've seen on the big screen was Muppet Treasure Island when it first came out (and which is still one of my favourites despite the mullet-haired lead child). It would be the height of awesome to see the original The Muppet Movie on a wonderful cinema screen (hint, hint Embassy). Oh, and this was also my 100th film of the year.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (in case you’re from another dimension and haven’t heard one of the 236,702 versions of it) retells Dickens' classic tale of miserly bastard Ebenezer Scrooge being visited by three Christmas spirits with a cast of Muppets and Michael Caine. At times it seems a bit of a forced mish-mash with the typical Muppet madness juxtaposed with Dickens' darkness. But all your favourites (bar Sweetums) make an appearance: from Fozzie and Kermit to the violent babies and singing vegetables.

Speaking of singing, the songs littered throughout are fine enough I guess. They're not anywhere on par with It's Not Easy Being Green or The Rainbow Connection, but those would be tough to match. Frankly, the songs aren’t all that memorable and occasionally get in the way of goings on. They’re not helped by Michael Caine occasionally looking a bit lost amongst all the singing and dancing Muppets. Flight of the Conchords’ Bret McKenzie was in attendance at the session and I’m sure he’s going to bring something special to the songs in the upcoming Muppet Movie.

After that last paragraph you may be thinking I didn’t enjoy the movie and spent the runtime slouched in my seat, muttering “Bah! Humbug”! Why, dear reader, nothing could be further from the truth! This are piffling gripes! The Muppets are as joyful to watch as ever and Brian Henson, the son of the famous founder, marks his feature length directing debut. While he may not carry the same spark as his dad, he’s certainly more than up to the task. Michael Caine plays his Scrooge dead straight with nary a nudge or a wink to the Muppetry ensuing around him. This works particularly well in the scenes with the Spirits of Christmases Past and Yet to Come; the imposing, cloaked Spirit of the latter is a fantastic indication of just what the Henson Company could really achieve.

Seeing this, at the movies with an appreciative audience (and filled with kids - more than a few brought long because of their parents' love for The Muppets I'm sure) was a real joy. I'm a big-time Muppet fan and cannot wait for the new Muppet movie. This was a timely reminder of just how much I miss seeing these felt characters up on the big screen.